This is one of those articles that sound funny, and then you write it and it just makes you sad. I totally stand by this guide as the best way to have success, but I obviously can't endorse using bots. It's deceptive and wrong. I even got some nagative feedback on this article because it seemed "too much like real advice" in addition to throwing in the bots. I guess that's just The Way Things Are.
This article was initially published in The Weekly All In #40.
Drama of the Week: How to Improve Your Stream Viewership And Start Making Money: A 5-Step Guide for Guaranteed Success
By: Mike Harrell
Twitch.tv, Azubu, DingIt, and that YouTube thing, as time goes on, more and more streaming platforms are launching and gaining viewers. There’s never been a better time to start your very own stream or to improve the stream that you already have!
As it’s the start of the new year, The Weekly All In is pleased to provide its readers with a fool-proof guide to drastically improving streaming viewership and monetary gains. The guide is short and simple, but you must follow it exactly. If there is any deviation from the guide, we cannot guarantee results. Also, it’s worth noting that the guide will work best if you have no personal or financial responsibilities.
Step #1: Set A Schedule During Prime Viewership Hours.
Peak hours on Twitch.tv are generally from 9am to 2pm (Pacific), with the middle of the week and the weekend getting the most views. Therefore, your stream must be up during those times. Set a public, posted schedule on your page.
Step #2: Interact With Your Viewers.
This is where you really get to shine as an entertainer. Provide commentary on your play, even if it isn’t particularly insightful. Make jokes. Tell stories. Pit viewers against each other or other streamers. Be active on social media. Whatever you want. It doesn’t matter if your viewers are idiots; you just need to give them a reason to watch.
Step #3: Monetize That Sucker.
Get allllllll the money things in there. Put a donation link on your stream. Have a robot read viewer messages attached to donations. Make donation goals that conclude in you dressing up sexy (this works better for women, but men have done it too). Make a great big list of people that donate, including hearts and winky faces by their names. ANYTHING that you think may motivate someone to send money your way, do it.
Step #4: Win Games
The real bane of all streamers: It helps if you’re good. That’s what will really, really keep people coming back: to see you win. Do whatever you have to do. It doesn’t matter if you’re smurfing all day every day at first, even for years, as long as you’re winning, people will watch. Once you actually get good, it won’t matter how long it took to get there.
Step #5: Use Bots
Now for the easy part: Use Bots. Hit up twitchviewbot.net, streambot.com, or viewbot.net, pick the package with the most viewers, and get it started. Don’t bother with “free” bots. It’ll be a scam and/or a huge pain the in butt.
Step #5 Part B: Really. Use Bots.
There are probably dozens, hundreds, or even thousands of other channels exactly like yours. How will you get more visibility? You need viewer numbers. How do you get that first big boost of viewers? Easily! Just use bots! No one on Twitch.tv has ever gone down due to botting. There is literally no downside. Sure, people may make fun of you, but you’ll be laughing all the way to the bank. Once you get that Twitch partnership, who cares what a bunch of freaks on Reddit say, anyway?
Step #5 Part C: Never, Ever, Acknowledge Using Bots
There is only one way that the public at large will ever know that you’re using view and chat bots: If you tell them so. Therefore, all you have to do is just never tell anyone. You can hide behind the possibility that someone else is sending bots to your stream in an attempt to make you look bad (LOL!). That would, of course, never happen. Bots cost money, and blowhards on the internet don’t pay for anything, much less pay for a month of Twitch Bots to troll streamers. Get out of here!
Step #5 Part D: Never Stop Botting
The naysayers and the accusers may scream, provide “proof” of your wrongdoing, and condemn you to the lowest circles of Hell, but that’s just free advertising. As long as you never admit to using bots, and never stop using them, you can always maintain the illusion of a “loyal following” that will keep you at, or near, the top position of your game. If you maintain your schedule, no one can ever prove that your bots aren’t your loyal viewers, tuning in just in time. It’s a perfect system.
As time goes on, real fans will begin to arrive and even stick around, and the longer you continue streaming consistently, the more of a staple of the community you become. Just remember: Reputation doesn’t matter. Numbers matter. If you’re getting viewers and getting money, you’re a successful pro streamer!
