Another Article of Substance: How to Introduce People to Esports

This article was partially inspired by an argument I had with another writer about the social acceptability of esports. He felt that it would never become a mainstream activity that people generally approved of. Or maybe that's not what he thought, it was very confusing. Either way, I was, and am, adamant that esports is on the rise, and will continue to gain popularity, even if the games change over time. The article was publish in today's issue, #33

This conversation revealed some defensiveness on the part of esport enthusiasts. Many of us have been burned in the past when trying to talk esports ("What? Why would anyone watch that? Sound stupid!"), but as videogames grow in popularity, it stands to reason that esports will as well, regardless of the"acceptability."

Additionally, there was some discussion about how it can be weird to tell people who don't know about esports that you write (or draw) about esports. Naturally, I decided that I should go ahead and write up a guide to help people talk about esports to the uninitiated. It really doesn't need to be much a big deal.

Drama of the Week: Esports for Dummies: Explaining Esports to the Uninitiated 

By: Mike Harrell 

Esports. We love it. Whether we’ve been following competitive gaming broadcasts back in the BW days before the west even knew about it, or just got into it this week, we observe a rich culture of spectating, commentary, and artistic contributions. We can also see that it is growing very quickly and stigmas surrounding it are beginning to crumble. 

That’s how things are on the inside. But how does it look on the outside? A reeking mass of sweaty neckbeards? Maybe people used to think that, but perceptions are changing. 

This article aims to be a guide on how to introduce other people to esports as a concept. This article is not about how to get your Dad, Grandma, Significant Other, or Cat to suddenly become a frothing esports fanatic. This is about presenting an emerging new pastime and the surrounding industry to people who are unfamiliar with it. We will do this by gauging their interest level of watching a competitive event with their perception of video games, and using that information to build a conceptual path to esports. 

Step 1: Set Reasonable Goals for the Interaction 

Seriously, we should all calm down a bit when we talk to people. Don’t be defensive. Don’t assume people will say it’s dumb. The vast majority of people simply don’t know that there are video games with the depth and format to merit an esport. And frankly, there is no single activity that everyone in the world understands the appeal for, or necessarily enjoys it if they do. Not everyone likes watching football even if they know all about it and have close relationships with people who do. The same goes for all forms of entertainment. Again, this is about increasing understanding, not conversion.  

Step 2: Preparing Your Pitch 

Here is a basic explanation of esports that you can use for anyone, “There are games like [use a game you like as an example] that have a lot of depth of strategy and competition has flourished around it. There are even some large scale competitions that get broadcasted online with commentary and it can be a lot of fun to watch!”  

If they seem interested, you can follow up with a “If you want to check it out, I can send you some good clips from YouTube, or invite you over to watch with me the next time there’s an event. ” The purpose of the invite isn’t necessarily to get people at your house to watch esports, but to be open and inviting. People will be more likely to give esports a fair shake if they have someone to go to for questions. 

The most important part of the explanation, however, is how you adapt and add to it to suit your audience. Let’s discuss that in more detail. 

Step 3: Gauge Interest as a Spectator 

The following list of activities is meant to be a loose scale to help you determine how similar your audience’s interest as a spectator are to esports. The further down the list they go, the more likely they are to understand the appeal of esports.  

Rock bottom: Does not watch tv for entertainment. 

Low: Will watch a game show (Price is Right, Jeopardy)  

Will watch others play a heated card/board game 

Casual: Will watch competitive sports on tv at a party/with a group 

Will watch competitive sports on tv alone 

High: Will watch others in the same room play a videogame with interest 

Highest: Will watch a youtube video of exceptional gameplay   

Step 4: Gauge Interest in Video Games Generally 

The following list of activities is meant to be a scale to help you determine not just your audience’s interest in video games, but also the likelihood that they are aware of the types of games that have become an esport. The further down the list you can go, the more likely that your audience will be able to appreciate esports. 

Rock bottom: Will not play any video game

Low: Will play digitized games on their phone  (Sudoku, Words With Friends)

  Will play casual games on their phone (Angry Birds, Boom Beach) 

Casual: Will play on a PC or Console at a party/in a group. 

Will play anything at all on a PC or Console alone. 

High: Will seek out and buy a game of their own accord on PC or Console 

Highest: Already plays a game with a strong esports scene. 

Step 5: Make Your Pitch 

Now that you’ve taken a few minutes to consider your audience’s interests, let’s put it together.  Here follows a list of several configurations as well as a suggestion on how you could begin a productive conversation. 

Rock bottom interest on either list: Don’t get your hopes up here. Stick with your basic pitch and hope for the best. 

Low Interest in both areas: Another hard sell, but not hopeless. Esports is probably not going to be their thing, but that doesn't mean they can’t be cool about it. Again, stick with your basic pitch and hope for the best. 

Casual Interest in both areas: This one’s hard because these are probably the people you WANT to get esports. Try to determine what appeals to them as a spectator or a gamer and emphasize those things in your portrayal of esports. Try not to come on too strong.  

Uneven interest: This is the most likely situation. Like the casual viewer/gamer, pick the activity that they seem to have a greater general interest in, and expand on that in relation to esports. If they love brackets or stats in sports, tell them about some esports upsets and facts. If they’re a big gamer, tell them how esports showcases the best gamers in the world.  

High interest in both areas: It’s easy at this point, it’s just a matter of figuring out which game they would be interested in seeing played at a high level and telling them about it. 

Highest interest on either list: Dude. They’re already there! Invite them over for WCS and don’t be surprised if they become more hardcore than you!  

Caveat: Some People Aren’t Ready 

Unfortunately, you may know someone, someone important to you, who’s just too set in their own opinion that they may willfully refuse to listen to you about the appeal of esports. If this happens, I’m genuinely sorry. It’s hard when someone is dismissive of your passion. Maybe it will give a little comfort to know that kind of feeling is not the growing trend. Esports is becoming more popular and “acceptable” every day all over the world. Maybe your friend/family member will come around in time, or maybe not. Either way, you tried. The rest is up to them.

Drama of the Week: Yet Another Fake Player's Union

Every couple of months there's talk of western pro athletes getting together for some union effort, so it's pretty ripe for parody. The week this article ran in issue 31 there were many, many, images with quotes of players and commentators. They started out okay, then got silly, then dumb, then just terrible. And then this article happened.

Drama of the Week: StarCraft Union Officially Forms: Players and Units Assert Their RightsBy: Mike Harrell

After a dramatic week of tournament results, GSL announcements, and countless “motivational” posts, the biggest news of all has risen to the top: A new StarCraft union has officially been announced! Defenders Against Nerds Keeping Marketing Efforts as Minor Esports Sensationalism  has been formed with the the following founding members: Scarlett, the Battlecruiser, IdrA, a Hydralisk, Artosis, Innovation, Boxer, Psione, White Ra, MarineKingPrime, the Hybrid, HuK, and the entire Protoss race. 

Taking Ownership

“The internet has long been rife with misquotations and misattributions on shareable images. Today, StarCraft says ‘No!’” said the Hybrid, the elected spokesperson for D.A.N.K.M.E.M.E.S. “It’s all fun and games until someone uses your words to justify the legalisation of Terrazine. Or, as what happened to me, being attributed the quote ‘l2p stupid 6pooler.’ I have never said such a thing. The buck stops here. Our words are valuable and we will not see them spewed across the internet just for your entertainment.”

The Hybrid continued, “We will be issuing a Take Down Notice in the morning to every website we find that hosts an image with a quote that alleges to be from any of our members without proper licensing through our media department. We will also be initiating litigation with r/Starcraft for the defamation and invasion of privacy of our members. Our words have value, and for the protection and peace of mind of our members, you can find all quotes related to them, motivational and otherwise, at dankmemes.gg.    

A Culture of Misrepresentation 

It is true that the internet is a place where the bold pray upon the gullible. The supposed likeness and words of everyone from Abraham Lincoln to Mark Twain to Kermit the Frog has been used to forward the message of every group with an agenda for years. It stands to reason that a StarCraft players’ union would want to nip that kind of behavior in the bud before real damage is can be done.

Players and Units Speak Out 

“Before being contacted by D.A.N.K.M.E.M.E.S., I was in a downward spiral,” lamented one Protoss archon, who wished to be identified only as The Archon. “I happened upon this message board and people had put my face and my words into an image for their own benefit. It was an image from over 15 years ago. I was a minor back then! How is that okay? I felt so manipulated and betrayed, it was like I was at the Fall of Tarsonis all over again! But now that we have real representation, we’re able to take our words and likeness back!” 

“This just the next step in StarCraft,” said the captain of the battlecruiser, “I try to keep things positive overall, and I appreciate that players agree with my ‘take it slow’ mantra. But my mantra is personal. I spent weeks crafting it with my therapist and I never wanted to share it. Blizzard never told us there would be cameras and microphones when we agreed to be part of the game. Now I see ‘take it slow’ posted online with my photo and it’s psychologically crippling. I no longer have any confidence. There was almost a mutiny last week because we were shot at by a Sentry and I announced, ‘Abandon ship!’ to the crew. D.A.N.K.M.E.M.E.S. is a godsend.” 

“I don’t see how I have anything to do with this.” said IdrA, who seems to get dragged into every StarCraft discussion, despite not being involved or interested in the game for years now. 

Just The Beginning 

Expect to see D.A.N.K.M.E.M.E.S.’ presence online more and more over the next few months as they champion player and units’ rights. When asked when they would be address concerns such as player health care benefits and tournaments who don’t keep agreements, The Hybrid stated, “Benefits? What? Uh...yeah! We’ll get to that too!”

An Article of Substance: eSports In the Olympics: Where Do We Stand?

last week I decided that I needed to start getting some articles published that aren't completely silly. I landed on writing about games in the Olympics and thought I'd make little thing that was page or two long that would give me a chance to look into the matter and report back.

Upward of 15 hours later, I have this monster of an article. I also happen to know so much more about the Olympic process than I ever have. A few times while writing, I felt like a 4th grader writing a report. But here it is. It appeared in Issue #30 of The Weekly All In as the headlining article. More details at the bottom.

A few weeks ago, the unlikeliest of all men, my father, who I have never seen willingly play a videogame in my life, genuinely asked me if eSports would ever be an Olympic event.

This is not a new topic among video gaming enthusiasts, as competitive gaming is as old as video gaming itself. Tennis for Two, which is frequently given the title of the first video game, pit two players against each other in a competitive match. As competitive gaming continues to gain momentum (and people still watch Twitch.tv more than Hulu), this is a topic that will increasingly pass through the minds of more than just gamers. If my father can stop and wonder and ask if eSports could make it to the Olympics, the pinnacle of all competitive sports, anyone can.

But what about…?

Is holding a high score really worth a gold medal? Is winning a game of StarCraft or Heroes of the Storm or Hearthstone really worthy of that kind of recognition? Do the majority of gamers even care to see competitive gaming at the Olympic level?
The hallmark of any discussion of gaming in the Olympic Games are the questions. StarCraft in the Olympic Games sure sounds awesome to me, but how would it be done? Is it “athletic” enough? Which video games would be played? Who would get to play? How is the balance/rules decided for each game? Won’t the owners of the game get a bunch of free advertizing and make a ton of money? What about hacking and other forms of cheating?

There are many philosophical and logistical obstacles keeping eSports out of the international mainstream. Let’s discuss some of the biggest ones. Also, I’ll be assuming that eSports is going for the summer games for this article, although winter would work too.

How Would It Even Be Done?

The manner in which a sport is included in the Olympic Games is changing. Long and complicated story short: there are going to be 28 sports in the 2016 Summer Games. Of those 28, 25 are “safe” sports that will definitely be at the 2020 Summer Games in Japan and will persist to future games as well unless something drastic (decreased popularity, very large scandals, etc) happens. The remaining three are non-core sports. In the case of the 2020 Games, there eight more sports attempting to gain admittance as a non-core sport: baseball/softball, bowling, karate, roller sports, sport climbing, squash, surfing, and wushu.

Esports would have to put together a bid as a non-core sport with a set list of “events” that cover each of the games and/or game modes to be played. A bid would also probably include rulesets, a description of the equipment required and its cost, a plan for how competitors will be chosen, as well as some kind of justification for why eSports merits a place in the Olympics. A simple majority is all that is required by the International Olympic Committee, or IOC, to approve the bid. How likely is that? Impossible, at least in the short term.

Japan is one of the more video game-friendly countries in the world, but the eSports scene is not as developed as in America, Europe, or Korea. And, unfortunately, it’s the IOC and not the people of Japan that need to be convinced. Furthermore, it’s already too late to try and get eSports included in 2020. The IOC won’t cast their deciding votes until 2016, just before the start of the  Games in Rio de Janeiro, but the final presentations for those sports already in the running will take place on September 30th. We’re looking at 2024 or 2028 at best.

Are Video Games Physical Enough?

Day9 famously describes StarCraft in the following way, “StarCraft requires the dexterity of a pianist, the mind of a chess grandmaster, and the discipline of an Olympic trainee. We believe that our game, StarCraft, is as dynamic and exciting a spectator sport as any other.” If we use sports like archery and shooting as a standard, it is very easy to think of StarCraft, DOTA 2, or Counter Strike in the Olympic Games. The spectatorship for League of Legends especially is very convincing, having once achieved 32 million viewers for one event.

The highest level of these games require world-class dedication, strategy and dexterity as well as being physically demanding. Other popular games...not so much. For example, Hearthstone, despite it’s popularity (and fun factor), I think a digital card game would be a hard sell. In short, I think some video games would be more welcome than others.

Who Would Play?

the International e-Sport Federation, which has been around for several years now (see http://ie-sf.org/), but isn’t very prominenent, would determine who would play.  International sport federations exist for every sport. They supervise play at the international level, recognize and encourage up-and-coming athletes, and choose their own method of granting admittance to Olympic competition.

For the current Olympic sports, there are multiple ways that athletes make it to the Olympic Games. Some sports require that athletes be selected for a national team, which competes in qualifiers until a final set of teams “make it” to the Olympics. Others are able to rely on a ranking system based on their performance in recent, non-Olympic, competitions. There are already events that use these same methods in the gaming world. The eSports big wigs would simply have to pick one and go with it.

Who Decides the Balance/Rules?

The International e-Sport Federation would decide how the games are played. There would have to be a discussion as to whether the Federation would simply to defer to the developer’s current rules/balance, or to adjust it to suit the intended audience (only the best players in the world). I believe it’s unlikely that game balance would be left completely in the hands of Blizzard, Valve, or any other private entity, as they have to appeal to the entire playerbase. The balance and rules within each game would also probably have to be solidified months before the games are actually played, which the developers may not want to be held to.

These alternate rules would, of course, be very similar to default ones. In the case of a game like StarCraft, that would likely consist of choosing the map pool, game speed, finally nerfing Adepts, and do something with Colossi.

This may chafe the developers of each game a little, but that’s how it works for most sports. I assume that developers would also be encouraged to add some kind of in-game consideration for players who want to play the international version of the game. A special “Official Olympic Mod” and matchmaking sounds like the natural place to start (should we ever get that far).

Facilitating the Games

Running an eSports event, especially with multiple games, is expensive. But is it that expensive? Assuming that a new building specifically to facilitate the eSports competitions does not have to be built, eSports would automatically become one of the least-expensive events to run in the entire Olympic Games.

One pricey facet of running a tournament: paying for player transportation, room, and board, would not be the responsibility of the Olympics at all. That responsibility is on the competitors themselves, although they frequently receive assistance from sponsors, their team, or even their government.

Gone also would be the cost of a prize pool. The only prize awarded by the IOC itself is the medal. Some federations will also pay a monetary reward for each medal won, depending on their place on the podium. I wouldn’t be surprised if the game developer contributed or crowd-sourced a prize of some kind as well, just to make things more exciting. But on the whole, this is another cost that would be avoided.

The largest cost would be the cost of the “production,” meaning the computers, the cameras, the screens, the network to get all the computers wired together, and then the bandwidth to broadcast it all. It would cost at least a couple hundred thousand dollars. I haven’t been able to get an exact number of any particular source for an event of this size, but this seems like a safe estimate. And, while it may sound like a lot, it really isn’t that much compared to the cost of the other games. Plus, I’m sure that would be easily covered with ticket sales and streaming subscriptions.

All in all, none of the organizational challenges seem all that hard to overcome. We just need to knuckle down and do it. But there’s still one massive elephant in the room that will need to be addressed before any progress can be made: Money.

Won’t Blizzard/Riot/Valve Make a TON of money from this?

YES. The answer to this is ABSOLUTELY YES. Having a privately-owned game in the Olympic Games  would result in a huge amount of free advertising and revenue for the game and its developer. If the company is publically traded, just the announcement would result in a huge spike in share values. It would affect the entire gaming market. Careers and companies would be made or broken by securing or being passed over for a coveted slot on the eSports event list.

It’s only fair for a business to make money from their product, but no one entity owns soccer (or football, if you insist), diving, or any other Olympic sport or event. They transcend ownership, which puts eSports at odds with every other sport. It stands to reason that if eSports were to be admitted, each game would be played fully on the terms of the IOC and the Federation, outside the influence of, and without any direct benefit to, any outside league or for-profit business.

How to Take Money Out of Sports?

This brings us to the question that I cannot answer alone. How do we remove the unmatchable profitability that would surely come to the few developers who were able to get their game in the Olympics? (And curtail the corruption and cheating that would be sure to follow?)

Is it as simple as the developer agreeing to put their game into the public domain if it is selected? That could be too harsh. Maybe the studio just agrees to donate all revenue from that game, and any promotional content related to the Olympics, for a specific period of time (say, from the date of the announcement of its inclusion in the Olympic Games until the end of the Closing Ceremonies)? Maybe a non-profit Federation version of the game is created that the developer agrees to support but not profit from?

My recommendation at this time would have to be the donation of revenues route. Given the iterative nature of videogames, it wouldn’t be fair for a company to completely lose their intellectual property over one game that will probably only be in one or two Olympics at most before being replaced by a sequel or something entirely different  Also, it would be important for the recipient of the donation to be an organization that is not owned or overseen by the Olympic Committee or the Federation to maintain the separation of interest. Neither the developers nor the Olympic bodies should get the money if a conflict of interest is to be avoided.

A Bright Future

The greatest of all the obstacles keeping eSports out of the world’s largest international sporting competition is, most likely, the perception that videogaming is a complete waste of time, and only braindead manboys do it. However, that perception is changing.  

It’s only a matter of time before spectating competitive gaming becomes as prominent as traditional sports and, when that time comes, people will stop asking what if? and begin to ask why isn’t eSports in the Olympics?

After writing this beast, I have two major questions.

1. Summer or Winter Games? It could really go with either one. I think we should just go with whatever we can get, frankly. Shooting and archery could go into either, I guess. Maybe Winter sports really do have to be Winter-specific. Whatever.

2. Are people interested in the No-money route? I'm not sure there's ever been a long running international non-profit sporting organisation that wasn't hugely corrupted. I imagine that my ideals of trying to keep all of the money out of the event to maintain purity in competition and event selection wouldn't actually be shared by the primary stakeholders in the conversation (The federations and the game developers). It's a shame.

"An Article of Substance" is a reference to Nicolas, who, during our meetings, will listen to us pitch idiot silly ideas for 30 minutes and then ask "and who will write an article of substance?" Then it gets quiet.

MiniDrama: President Obama Changes Name of the Disrupter

Better late then never.

As part of his first, and probably only, trip to the state of Alaska, President Barack Obama has officially renamed the Disruptor back to its native name of "Reaver."

"Well you know," Mr. Obama said in an exclusive interview with The Weekly All In, "I figured I was on a roll with Denali, so I might as well keep going. These kinds of things take forever when you try to go through official channels. I figured I might as well knock out a few more while I'm at it. Look out 'Mid to High Masters' players, you're next!"

Hundreds of thousands rejoice at the announcement. One forum poster said "All we ever wanted was the Reaver to begin with. I'm so glad that Our President was able to make it happen. The Disruptor just wasn't going anywhere and they keep making it more and more like the Reaver. Might as well just call it that!"

However, not all are pleased with Obama's decision, nor the way in which he chose to enact it. "It is not the place of the President to just up and make decisions about StarCraft II: Legacy of the Void," responded a Blizzard spokesperson, "I don't care if it's hugely popular and what we should have just done all along, or if players have been calling it the Reaver for months, HE doesn't get to decide! And what about the disparity in unit models? What can possibly be done to reconcile the difference?"

We will continue to post updates as they come through, but it looks as though the change is here to stay. Players seem well-pleased with the change. One incredibly lucid and believable player wrote, "Yeah...every since it changed, I just 'get' it now. I know how to harass with it. I know where it fits into the army composition. Turns out it really was all in a name. The Reaver has just really come together now."

President Obama continues his trip in Alaska for another couple days. Should he make any more announcements about Blizzard games, you'll hear about it first at The Weekly All In!

I wrote this some weeks ago when the Weekly All In was on a brief break. I could have just posted it more or less as it is, but I wanted to photoshop some pictures of Pres. Obama in front of Exit Glacier with little Reavers and Distruptors on it. Unfortunately, I never got around to it, and then I missed the window for the joke to be relevant in any way.

I've still not gotten around to it, but I'm tired of seeing it just sit around. So now it's here. I hope you enjoyed it.

Ded Gaem: Hacked article and details

The Weekly All In continues on its break while Nicolas has some other projects to finish.

Anyway, this is the article from issue 28. Notes and commentary about the article's evolution are at the bottom.

A wave of crippling panic has swept over the nation, nay, the world in the last few weeks as hack after hack exposes the secrets that ne'er-do-wells all over thought could never be discovered. The most recent of these hacks targeted none other than our favorite StarCraft personalities in their Ded Gaem mansion, lovingly referred to as “Sanctuary,” in southern California.

Only Vague Responses from Blizzard

“We are aware of the situation and we are already working on a fix for it,” stated an official spokesmen from Blizzard’s department of non-game game-related content. “We’ve begun internal testing on the matter and we’ll have the fix out soonTM.” This response has, understandably, not done much to alleviate the worries of the “Ded Gaem” gamers.  

“If I wanted the entire world to read my emails, I’d just let TigerLily back on my computer” lamented a livid Destiny. “I can’t understand the incompetence of Blizzard on matters like this. How could the house be hacked? Why wouldn’t they be monitoring our security? Why would they allow some creep to just park across the street and hack into our network and steal all of our information? I’m going to have to change ALL of my passwords! Do you know how long that’s going to take? I was on the phone with a Blizzard tech support guy earlier today, I’ve never talked so fast in my life, and that STILL didn’t fix it!”

Private Lives Exposed

Some of the gamers were pretty forthcoming with the information that was stolen. “Yeah, it’s a shock, but I’ve got nothing to hide,” said a beaming DesRow. “I’ve been very good since we started living here at Sanctuary. The only thing they’re going to find from me is a whole bunch of Reddit traffic and some StarCraft things. I worry about WinterBOT though. He’s made a the tough decision to use his “Dirty Ded Gaem Dollars: The Reality Show Currency” to become a real, human, boy and he’s done a lot of research into it here on our network. I really feel for the guy, he wasn’t ready to make it public yet.”

Other gamers were not so eager to have their recent activities revealed. It could even disrupt the future of their careers. “Yes, it’s all very upsetting,” Naniwa was overheard saying on the phone, while I listened from the bushes near his open window. “They were getting everything. All of our Skype convos. All of our emails. All of our search history. Pretty soon the entire internet’s going to know about the gourmet cupcake shop I’ve been planning. ‘Nani’s Nummies’ will never be a success without the proper marketing and now it’s ruined!”

His voice began to crack, as did my knees, but he continued, “They even got all of the get-well-soon DM’s I sent to Jimmy Fallon when he injured his finger. EVERYTHING.” He must have moved away from the window at this point, because I couldn’t hear anything else. This was just as well, however, as my feet had begun to fall asleep. On a clarifying note, I’m just nosey, not the hacker. I can hardly format a Reddit post.

Irreparable Damage

So far, the following shameful secrets have been dug up about each of the gamersDesRow: Apparently sent a lovely card to each Rifkin and Zombiegrub after Hell It’s Aboot Time.WinterBOT: Had the foresight to renew his warranty for the next two years. Research into becoming a real boy. Many viewings of “Pinocchio” on Netflix. Naniwa: Baking sites. Weekly emails to his mother so she doesn’t worry.Destiny: Correspondence indicating that he’s been volunteering at a homeless shelter and after school programs for low-income children who want to learn technical skills.TigerLily: Due to her unfortunate habits of sharing personal information, there was literally nothing that the hackers uncovered that she had not already make public herself. 

Reputations on the Line 

“We fully understand the potential fallout from this kind of situation,” the Blizzard spokesperson reiterated, “if word gets out that the online persona of these guys is really just a persona, it could be cataclysmic to their careers. What would Destiny be if he weren’t just a foul-mouthed fast-talker on the internet, but really a normal do-gooder on the side? Catastrophe! We’re going to find who did this, and then we’re going to say that we’re going to do something about it!”

Blizzard Taking a Firm Stance

When I pressed for clarification on what would happen to the hacker(s), I was interrupted by a man dressed all in blue, leaning on a blue post, who seemed to be making the same, somewhat unnatural movement over and over. He didn’t look at me when he spoke, but passed me. He said, “The user who did this will be banned, in accordance with the User End License Agreement that he or she agreed to at the time of purchase of the Ded Gaem Gawker and Paparazzi Parking Pass and Virtual Ticket. They will not be allowed near the premises of Sanctuary again.”

I asked what would happen if the hacker were to just purchase a new parking pass and do the whole thing over again, but the blue person remained silent despite being asked multiple questions for clarification until another reporter asked what would happen to the in-game items that had been bundled with the pass of the hacker once they were banned.

The Blue Man replied, “The forthcoming in-game items bundled with the Ded Gaem Gawker and Paparazzi Parking Pass and Virtual Ticket, namely, The World of WarCraft TigerLily Skype Battle Pet, The Real Boy Winter Hearthstone cardback, The Destiny Story of the Good Samaritan skin for The Lost Vikings in Heroes of the Storm, The DesRow Still Competes In Things StarCraft II Portrait, and the Naniwa’s Nummies ‘Better Than Whimsyshire Cupcake’ Health Globe reskin for Diablo III will all be removed from their account unless they create a new account and repurchase the bundle.”

No further questions were taken.

I had a pretty hard time getting this article finished. I knew I wanted to do something involved with the revelation of incriminating personal information in the wake of the Ashley Madison hack. My first thought would be to use the names of some of the StarCraft Reddit trolls emails hacked to reveal all of the nice things they say in the personal correspondence, and that would be the "scandal." But after thinking about it a bit, it didn't seem like enough for a whole post.

Thinking about it a bit more, I looked into the approach of having their GGTracker accounts "exposed" to reveal that none of them actually play the game anymore, and when they did, all they did was hokey stuff, like the WoL campaign on easy and 6-pooling every matchup. I even did my very first Twitter tease image for it to try and drum up what little hype I could.

But then that got more complicated, because it turns out that not only are pretty much all replays on GGTracker public, but you can even import them into Spawning Pool to see what builds they used. So at this point there wouldn't even need to be a hack, unless the hackers got information through Battle.net for some reason, which seemed like a whole new can of worms.

After some more brain storming with my wife, I decided it would probably be the most-entertaining and least convoluted if I used real StarCraft personalities, and went back to the "nice" scandal, which lead directly into a second Ded Gaem article.

I didn't want to do that at first, as it seemed like too much of a rehash, not to mention the fact that none of the people in the Ded Gaem had actually caused a stink lately (the original leaked info for TigerLily was "Meh. Who cares?" because I couldn't think of a single thing to say about her). Plus, it was like 11:30 PM on Sunday and there was no way there could be good art done in time.Eventually, I decided just to get it done because we had a release to Prod the next morning at work and I needed to get this sucker over with.

Much to my surprise, I think it turned out pretty well. I really like the idea of Destiny doing a lot of community service and volunteering in outreach programs when he isn't straming. I have never interacted with directly with Destiny before, so I honestly don't know much about him other than what he chooses to portray online. I also generally assume that people are Good until proven otherwise. So the thought of him having a double life of do-goodery is a happy thought.

I'm also super proud of that "blue post" personified bit at the end. I'm not sure the execution was that great, but I feel like that's a good new source of material. I really liked the parking pass idea too, because it really tunes right into the Cross-product marketing that Blizzard has (understandably) been pushing more and more.

I'm not so happy with WinterBOT in this article. I really wanted to work him in more, as opposed to just informing the reader through other people. However, I didn't have time to really do him justice. Originally, I wrote that he was scheduling surgery to "transition" into a real boy, but decided to change it in favor of the safer option. My last article was about gender issues in StarCraft, it didn't seem like a good idea to jump back into it again.

Anyway, that's the story of this article. Thanks for reading, and tell your friends about The Weekly All In!